#BodyPositivity: Style Your Self Happy

Meet Jane

Stylist who encourages mums to find themselves again amongst the sleepless nights and dirty nappies.

Child negotiator (Jane has two under four!) and wife.

The easy bit:

I wouldn't say I was ever one of those teenage girls who cared too much about their body or weight – I’ve always been slim-ish, and I think it was easier back in the early noughties not to enter into the comparison culture we have now, as social media didn’t exist. I've always been into sport, and I suppose you could say I was more of a tomboy, even though I was always into my clothes, I didn’t wear any kind of makeup till I was 17!

At the age of 24 i married my husband. I remember feeling so happy in my dress on the day, like every bride does, it was a magnificent feeling. If only we could bottle that feeling and have a dose when we need it, because little did i know how all consuming having kids would be.

The hard bit:

I only really started to think about my body when I fell pregnant – you can’t escape the fact that your body is changing! I’ll be the first to admit I had a pretty easy time of it. I put on hardly any excess weight and was back in my jeans about a week after having both babies. I did however lose myself somewhere along the way after having my daughter, to all the demands that looking after a toddler and a newborn bring, which I found really hard. I’ll be brutally honest here – sometimes it felt like I was trapped in a nightmare I couldn’t escape from, and my sole purpose had now become to keep two small beings alive! I stopped posting my outfits on Instagram, deciding that I didn’t need to bother anymore as I was ‘just a mum’, and that was that.

When things started to get (marginally!) easier, I wanted to regain that little bit of me again that I loved expressing through clothes and fashion. I started making an effort and sharing my style online, and I wished I had done it sooner! Although I was still being a mum everyday, I also had that part of me that was just for me.

I felt so strongly that styling and what we wear can have such an impact on every part of our lives, that I began training as a stylist and personal shopper last year to set up my own business focusing on mums who perhaps felt that they had lost their individual style along the way.

Styling and body image:

The big reason behind starting my styling business - Highstreet Stylist - was to show women that wearing clothes that suit them, their shape, their personality and lifestyle, can benefit them in ways that are more than just physical. I really believe that your body positivity starts from the outside and works its way in. If you feel happy and confident then that's how you will go out and face the day. Owning and loving our style changes how you see yourself in the mirror in a positive way, and over time will change how you feel about yourself, which is an amazing thing.

 I still have my many hang-ups (who doesn’t!), I feel like the excess skin on my stomach is painfully obvious when I wear tight clothing, and I’ve always been really conscious of my broad shoulders. What I do now is try to find a way to turn those into positives – my tummy grew the best two things in my life, and I wouldn’t be as good a swimmer without my shoulders!

A few months ago I decided I wasn't going to weigh myself again - and it's been the best decision ever! I don't have that disappointment when I feel like I've been ultra good for a week but the scales tell me I'm the same, or even worse, put on a pound or two. I pretty much eat want I want, I love food and cooking, and it's definitely easier to eat healthy if you do it yourself from scratch. Most days I exercise - swimming, running, tennis, and trying to contain a two and four year old!

What's important to me now is feeling good, strong and able to run around with my small ones every day – and owning my style while I do it - and I hope that I can still do just that in 10 years time.

And cake, cake is always good ;)

Find Jane posting daily outfit inspiration on her glorious Instagram feed

Her Website and 

Connect with her on Facebook

#BodyPositivity – Learn To Love Your Body With Laurie of Vanity & Me

Meet Laurie

Creator and Author of 

Vanity & Me Blog

Wife, Mother, Grandmother

Ladies, please drop what you're doing and read about this incredible ladies journey to the wonderful place she is today. No spoilers but trust me when i say she's has seen the extreme end of lacking Body confidence. Read on to hear about Laurie's journey

Hi Everyone

It’s my greatest pleasure to be here today sharing with you my journey (and it’s been a long journey) Gaining confidence and body positivity and learning to like, sometimes love myself a little.

Readers often think that because we share our photographs online sharing our passion for fashion and beauty that we are full of confidence and have a huge ego, when that is often not the case!

There are so many things that I would like to change about my body. Being taller would be top of the list. Alas not a lot can be done about that, and you will always find me in heels! But do let me tell you that I have learned through the years that trying different styles, I feel comfortable being titchy me.

The thing is about being a shorty is that even half a pound can make a difference and I do eat quite healthily.

Arms. I hate mine, I have tried weights, different types of exercise all to no avail. So, most times I wear a cap or short sleeve rather than no sleeve. It looks passable and I’m happy with that. It’s just trial and error finding resolutions if you can’t fix your problems.

Let me tell you about a journey I travelled from the age of Eighteen.

Even back then in the early eighties the pressure was there to have the perfect figure. OK, not anywhere near the amount of social media pressure that there is now, but you didn’t even have the fuller or should I say average sized female model back then. The skinnier the better in the media’s eye.

I feel sorry for the young girls of today. The pressure for them is huge. My daughter posted this on Instagram and I thought it really struck a good statement

Anyway, back to my story!

When I was Eighteen, I was really on the heavy side. One day a family member came for a visit and commented on how large I had gotten. I can still remember that moment clear as day. Totally upset, I vowed to starve myself until I was the perfect size.

And that’s what I did. Starve myself. I won’t go into all the details of how I hid it from my parents. I would be writing a book if I told you the whole story. But after about six months of barley eating anything the weight started to fall off. The compliments started rolling in and I felt amazing. What happened next you ask? I wanted to carry on feeling amazing and for the comments to continue rolling in, so I carried on starving myself, thinking that a decent meal would make me look huge again!

I can’t tell you when the point of no return began. I often think about this, but for the life of me I can’t remember. The whole starving myself disaster completely took hold of me.

To shorten the story, I ended up hiding myself in baggier clothes to hide my wasting away frame. I knew and that’s all that mattered at the time. My little bird like skeletal body now weighed 5 stone 9lb. I ended up collapsing and of course my parents inevitably found out. They helped so much to try and get me to recover, but I still had a lot of days struggling with just trying to eat. I just thought they wanted their “fat” daughter back and decided to become Bulimic instead. Terrible huh?

My turnaround for me came when one day I was having to take so many laxatives the pains in my stomach were just too much to bare. Just like that lightbulb had lit up to start my Anorexia another lightbulb lit up for me to stop.

But that’s not the end. And a lot of the time I did still eat like a little bird, but I started to get ill. From my stupidity of not eating for so long I totally broke my immune system and started to get allergies. Foods that I had eaten all my life I could no longer eat. I have spent many years I’m 54 now and still each year I have to see different specialist about my allergies that grew and grew and grew! Touch wood, it’s been two years since my last new edition which was Aspartame.

I got my payback! Now I can’t bloody eat anything! I got what I wished for basically. Something I have to live with for the rest of my life all because I was a silly girl trying to be what the media say’s we should be.

If I could eat all the pies I would. And I’d be sticking my fingers up to anyone that was to judge me! There are so many things that I would do differently if I could, but getting on to the body positivity, you’ve just got to let go and learn to love yourself. Eat healthily, exercise a little, learn what accentuates your good bits and hides your bad bits. I now have my own fat rolls and flabby arms, but I’ve just learned to do the above. I make do the best I can and I love myself more now in my fifties than at any other time in my life. I too did the MandCo body positivity challenge with Rachel a while back. Sticking my fingers up to society and telling the world that I’m loving my time in my fifties and not scared to show off my body. (It was hard but very liberating!)

It’s funny because I have never written about my time of being anorexic on my blog! When Rachel kindly asked for my input, it just seemed right. Sorry Rachel!

I may not have the perfect body, but I have learned to love it.

Thank you so much Rachel for having this time on your blog. I will leave my media links below, just in case they want to visit an over 50 woman trying to make the most of herself!

Find me at:

Vanity & Me Blog

Twitter

Instagram

RTH: Laurie please don't apologise, the more we talk about these things the more we enlighten ladies on the journeys we all go through daily and how we should learn to love ourselves just the way we are.

Thank you for talking about your extremely personal journey. Its been a privilege to have you here and i think i can speak on behalf of everyone when i say, Laurie, you look absolutely gorgeous!!

#BodyPositivity Why I've chosen to not conform and 'Summer Diet' for the Perfect Body

So every year rolls around, and on social media you see ladies hitting the gym/workout dvds and gobbling up salad and smoothies in order to become lean mean summer machines for when that sunshine arrives and we inevitably have to expose more flesh.

I've done it every year, April/May rolls around and i realise, i've eaten my way through winter like a hungry hungry hippo.
This winter i put on 10 lbs. What started as a couple of pounds after birthday and Christmas proceeded in to a few more come my anniversary and then resulted in 10 whole big ones by May.
The lack of exercise hasn't helped my cause much, and being a fair weather walker means i limited myself.
As i started to get out some of the skimpier pieces from last summer i felt the dread come over me,
"How am i going to expose flesh"
"My thunder thighs will look horrendous"
"Bingo wings are never fashionable"
and so on and so on.
I sat there on the edge of my bed having just weighed myself, and sat amongst my summer clothes basically feeling like shit.
I wrote off wearing shorts completely, deeming my legs too disgusting to get out in public. I was this close to donning a full burka all summer long.

Why though?
Social media was yelling that Summer is coming, hit the gym now to be in your best shape yet!
Adverts are filled with slogans like

"Get Summer Body Ready"

I even had emails offering reviews for coffee drinks to loose weight to be bikini ready.

Seriously though.. what the eff?
Why??
Why can't i just accept who I am.
Yes i may be 10 lbs heavier than last summer, but does it really matter on the greater scheme of things?
Am i less of a person because i'm heavier? (Actually no, there's more of me so if anything i'm more of a person, lol!)
I'm happy, i'm extremely healthy (Hi I'm Rachel and I'm a vegan in case you didn't know!) and i walk most days with my dogs).

This year i donned a bikini for the first tie in 8 years. Im not in 'peak physical shape' but
I'm Happy.

Cant we just embrace our bodies just the way they are? Yes my mum tum is ever present, no i don't have a thigh gap, but on the greater scheme of things, does it really matter?
Bodies of all shapes and sizes are what makes this world a glorious place filled with diversity, my god, it would be so boring if we all looked exactly the same.

I'm choosing to not deprive myself this year, forcing my body in to 'diet mode' just seems wrong.
I'm choosing not to compare myself to gym bunnies with six packs and rock hard thighs, as that is their choice (and good for them too!!) not mine. That doesn't make me less of a person, uglier or generally not as nice.

I'm choosing to love this body just the way it is, belly rolls, curvy thighs and all.

Of course if you want to loose weight, do it because you feel your body needs it, not becasue you want to be summer ready or because the media implies we should look a certain way.
I lost 3 stone 4 years ago because i was heavier than my frame and height should be. I was overweight and uncomfortable, sluggish and lethargic. I lost the weight for me and nobody else, so i know how it feels to not like how you look. I still struggle daily but I'm learning to love how i am.

I hope you'll join me in ditching the mindset of how we should look and just love how you do look.
Over the years SO many ladies have said to me when out shopping,
"Oh I'm going to size down in that as i'm going to loose weight and i want it to fit me then" or "I'm keeping this because i plan to fit in it by xxx"

This is just constantly reiterating to yourself that your body isn't currently worthy, like this magnificent thing that carries you day in day out isn't good at all and that you strongly dislike it.
All you are creating is more negativity for yourself.

So please, learn to love yourself just as you are, not how you think you should be, or plan to be.
Just be you, this you, here and now.

Choose happiness and your

 body and mind will thank you for it.

#BodyPositivity Sharee's Journey

Meet Sharee

Body Positivtiy and realist advocate

Find her and her inspirational style at

in_my_size_and_in_the_sale

It's my absolute pleasure to introduce you to the lovely Sharee, after my honest post of being small chested and learning to love it after years of self loathing, its great to have Sharee speaking from the opposite side of the spectrum.

Please welcome Sharee:

Ok I admit it….The following sentences fills me with dread! "bikini shopping”

 The fear of wearing a bikini…so much so that for my upcoming holiday I purchased swimming costumes and told myself under no circumstances am I to wear a bikini. You see I have what you call an ample bosom. Having been blessed/cursed (however way you want to look at it) with FF boobs since my teenage years and ever since then, trying to hide them away but hey I guess I’m stuck with them right? 

Im guessing you may be thinking well why not have a reduction if you hate them that much? 

Don’t get me wrong I have thought about it but then I thought why the hell should I? 

People pay for boobs like this! It’s that old chestnut isn’t it- 

We as Women as never happy with what we have body wise and always want the opposite to what we have and imagine life would be so much better with that but as I’ve got older I’ve learnt this is not the case and slowly come to realise at the end of the day, we get what we are given and you only have that 1 body and you should truly embrace it (even the bits you’re not that keen on).

I know I’m not the only 30 something female to feel self-conscious in a bikini but as women I feel the pressure we put on ourselves is immense and its enough to give you sleepless nights! But at the same time it’s something which is a total waste of worry, I openly admit though that I still do this and constantly judge myself and wonder what other people think of how I look. The pressure on young girls these days must be truly horrific, I think we have social media to “thank” for this one! 

How the media portrays what the ideal perfect body must be and make you feel that if you don’t conform to the said portrayal you are somehow less of a woman or not accepted?

 Really?? 

But here’s the thing 99% of those pictures aren’t even real! The girl in the photo doesn’t even look like the girl in the photo? Go figure! The joys of numerous filters and Photoshop! 

Which brings me to a post I did recently which was featured in Look Magazine to promote their #GetRealIssue, again about the pressures to look perfect and to upload a photo explaining how many attempts/filters etc you used before you were happy with it. I was thrilled to be featured as it’s something I feel very passionate about. 

So anyway back to the Boobs and the reason for this post……One morning on holiday whilst getting ready for a day at the beach I put on my black swimming costume, minimiser bra underneath, trying to flatten them down, hunched my back so it looks like I don’t have a chest, and I thought I can’t exactly walk round 24-7 with a hunched back as that will lead to other problems! I caught a glimpse in the mirror and thought why am I doing this to myself? I’m the only person judging me, no one else is and anyway 9 times out of 10 those said people you think are judging you are only wanting to do the same thing and have exactly the same hang ups. 

So I guess what I’m saying is just go for it Ladies and embrace your gorgeous selves! I know I don’t fit the ideal “perfect” (whatever that may be) but you know what I don’t want to be! I’m the best version of me and that’s all what matters. So here I am embracing the boobs on holiday & I’m happy to report the swimming costumes were banished to the suitcase 😁

Thank you for reading and don't forget to love who you are and how you look.

Sharee xx 

(in_my_size_and_in_the_sale)

RTH: And doesn't she look amazing!!! I absolutely love bringing this series to you all and showing a true representation of diverse ladies.. this is what should be in the media, women of all shapes sizes and ages. 

Thank you Sharee and amazing well done on your bikini shots and journey to self love!

To read more of the #BodyPositivity series click here

Do you have a #BodyPositivity story you'd like to share? I'm looking for contributors..
 Email me at rachel(at)rachelthehat(dot)com

#BodyPositivity : Meet Ann of Kremb de la Kremb

Meet Ann

Creator of Kremb de la Kremb

Blogger, Stylist and Librarian/Teacher

Mum & Wife

Follow Ann on Instagram here

This is Ann's journey on her wonderful two legs

I've Always Loved My Legs

I’ve always loved my legs. They’re the one body part I don’t mind flaunting—yes, I chose the word flaunting just to prove a point of pride in my legs. I’m 45, and I still wear both mini skirts and short shorts as if I were 15! If I’m to receive a compliment, it’s usually about my legs. If you ask my husband the favourite physical part of me, he’ll instantly say my legs. It’s not arrogant for me to like my legs. Every single woman needs to identify at least one part of their body and completely celebrate it. They must. After all, self love breeds confidence, and confidence shines as beauty. So believe me when I tell you fellow women friends, you must find at least one thing about yourself and love it. Love it so much that you own it. Be it your nails, eyelashes, toned abs, flat chest, voluptuous bottom, find it and flaunt it ladies!

Oh no! But what happens when that one thing, that one body part of a woman that she has always taken pride in, begins to deteriorate? That dear women friends is what’s happening to me and to be frank, it stinks! My legs are beginning to fail me. Big time. I’ve already received a successful right hip replacement. Thank God for that one because I was miserable until I received Pinky. (Yes, I’ve named her Pinky, my new pink hip!) Right when the recovery of Pinky was smoothly come to a successful end, my left knee decided to act out. Basically four months after my miraculous (at least to me) hip replacement, I found out that my left knee had finally given out, and it now needs to be replaced. (My anterior cruciate ligament, ACL, injury from my early 20s was now shot. The graft that had been created in 1995 has now disintegrated. I no longer have an ACL in my left knee.) My left knee is filled with so much arthritis and bone spurs; basically it looks like a white infested forest of old stuff. It’s got to go, or I just deal with the pain.

I’ve been dealing with chronic pain in my lower appendages for more than a few years now. At one point, and I’m not embarrassed to admit this, I had to receive help for the depression caused by the chronic pain. I think part of the reason I am currently able to handle the pain in my left knee is because of the antidepressant I take from the time before the hip replacement. Chronic pain is real, and it can cause the brain to think some crazy things. Luckily my mind hasn’t gone too crazy in dealing with my left knee problems, and I thank that to the medication I take. One thing has definitely suffered however: my ego!

Even with fluctuations in weight, my legs have always seemed to stay trim. Yet now, those legs, they’ve lost any sort of definition, they suffer from atrophy and therefore wrinkles, plus those cellulite dimples are settling in. All these characteristics are new for me. Mind you this is all me looking down on them; it’s what I see. They probably still actually look fine. But, what about the fact that they don’t work for me….This is so hard, physically difficult and mentally too. I have always loved having strong legs. I’ve always loved that line I get on the side of my thigh demonstrating strength. I could squeeze my thigh or slant it to the side and get that nice line. These are my vanities that I own and share of the one item on my body that I’ve always appreciated. There’s more to the heartache: I have always loved walking, jogging, hiking. I used to play volleyball on the beach. I could do flips off the diving board. I can’t do any of those activities anymore, and it’s absolutely heart wrenching.

I still remain strong in my opinion that I must find something to love about myself. And it’s going to be my legs. I just have to start accepting how they are today. They are no longer young. They are definitely damaged and in need of surgical repair. I will one day do this. I’m not sure how much longer I can wait. But in the meantime, I have to find something, there’s got to be something I can do to celebrate my legs. Just this week I found it: I can ride a bike! It’s so fun!! The breeze in my hair, nature all around me, the pumping up a hill and the joy of acceleration going down. When I ride a bike, my knee does not hurt, and my muscles are working!! Oh yes! I may have found something, and the relief feels so good. Maybe I can still love my legs after all. As long as I can use them, attempt to make them strong, take pride in their strength, I will always love my legs. I just have to find ways to celebrate them in any which way I can.

*Dearest Rachel, thank you for giving me this opportunity to reflect on a body part I’ve always loved but have had a hard time with as of late. This process of writing out what I love about myself has provided me with the determination to always find a way to love my legs. And now, it’s time to go take a bike ride! Wink wink.

Thanks for having me.

Love, Ann from Kremb de la Kremb

#BodyPositivity with The Style Allie

Anyone who has had children will know: 

The Mother of All Body Changes

Meet Allie

Creator of The Style Allie

She is a blogger and Stylist

A Mum and Wife

Follow her on Instagram Here

The Beginning: Full of confidence and youth

When I met my husband, at the tender age of 16, I had just retired from gymnastics with a knee injury and my build was very slim and athletic. Content in a relationship and not at the gym constantly, I filled out a bit and felt confident with a bit more meat on my bones and a bit more boob in my bra! Fast forward 8 years to our wedding day and I felt so confident, I rocked tiny bikinis on our honeymoon and body hang ups were not even on my radar.

Then Everything Changed..

I fell pregnant just a few months after we married and I remember naively thinking I would just ping back after. My amazing Mum has had four children and she was back in her size 10 jeans a week later, every time. I assumed that I would inherit this ability. By week 20, it was clear that I was not going to carry a neat little bump and I had put on so much weight everywhere. I felt almost freakish when people assumed I was almost at full term and joined in by saying things such as "definitely only one in there" or "they can probably see me from space" to hide my upset. At least I didn't have stretch marks, I thought, until I went 14 days overdue and they were literally appearing before my eyes. I ended up covered in them.

Then, after a dramatic birth where the cleaner delivered her, my beautiful daughter came hurtling into the world. Of course the next few weeks, everything paled into insignificance and I basked in the newborn glow. However, the tiredness was overwhelming, I ate terribly, gorging on sugary snacks to give me an instant energy boost. It wasn't long before I began to loathe my reflection, so much so a birthday shopping trip reduced me to tears. I began to hide away in loose clothes and even still wore my maternity wear . I pushed these thoughts away and threw myself into Motherhood. Violet was a toddler when I fell pregnant again, suddenly my saggy stomach was firm again and I actually felt amazing. My bump this time round was neat and because I was running around after an 18 month old, I didn't put on extra weight. After Oscar was born, those feelings of body loathing returned but I convinced myself that I was being stupid and it didn't matter. I had two healthy children and I should stop being so ridiculous.

Getting Back To Me

I remember the day I realised I needed to look after myself again. I was looking at photographs of my son's first birthday. I was wearing a maternity dress, I had cut and coloured my hair into what I thought was an appropriate "mum do". I suddenly didn't recognise myself anymore. I vowed to take control, I joined a Body Combat class and started to eat healthily. I don't personally believe in diets, as soon as you say I can't have something, I immediately want it all!
So everything in moderation.
I began to feel good, I noticed I had more energy and my clothes felt looser. I eventually lost 2.5 stones. This was great but I was left with saggy, stretch marked skin which I hated and would obsess over. I was far from the pre-pregnancy body that I loved. I realised it wasn't a matter of the weight, I just didn't feel like me anymore.

I decided to go shopping, I had not done this for a long time, I had avoided the shops as the carefree days of being able to wear whatever I liked were gone. It always left me feeling frumpy and fed up. This time, I was on a mission. I had a wedding to attend and was determined to find something I felt good in. I tried dress after dress after dress. My fuller boobs wouldn't squeeze into the pretty dresses I liked and my wobbly thighs were crying out "hide me". I began to give up when an amazing lady told me what a beautiful hourglass figure I had and that I should try separates to get a better fit. She brought me a gorgeous lace pencil skirt and a little funnel necked blouse to try. I put the outfit on and instantly felt amazing! The pretty skirt was snug on my small waist and showed it off perfectly, the lace overlay skimmed over my mum tum and the beautiful blouse housed my boobs wonderfully and showed my curves off in an elegant way I had never dreamed possible. However, it was the smile on my face that made the real difference, I felt amazing! Needless to say I snapped the whole outfit up there and then.

This really was an awakening, I began to experiment with my new body shape and found out what worked for me. Yes, it was different but I was determined to make clothes work for me. Fashion had always been a huge part of my life pre pregnancy and I had missed expressing myself through clothes. It was time to get to know myself again and over time I mastered what worked for my new body. I can now look at an item and instantly know if the shape will work. I have learned how to accentuate the bits I like, for example my small waist; I'm always in high waisted items or cinched in with a waist belt. I look for pieces that skim over my mum tum and thighs and show off my calves, I have even embraced my fuller bust and instead of hiding them in loose clothing, I dress to show off my curvy shape.

Once I had mastered dressing my figure, I found I could build on this foundation by expressing myself through styling. 

Finally, I was feeling like the Allie I used to know, my confidence grew and I felt comfortable in my own skin once more. I really do believe that getting to know which body shape you are and how to dress it, is a complete game changer. Feeling good in what you wear is so good for the soul!

I know my body is not perfect, whatever that ridiculous notion means, but it is pretty bloody amazing! I grew two beautiful humans inside it and it keeps me alive to see them grow. It is so easy to fall into the trap of looking at the "body beautiful" images we are constantly bombarded with and feel inadequate but it is not healthy to think that there is only one type of beauty. As women, we all come in different shapes and sizes, this should be something to celebrate. I want my daughter to see me embracing my shape and enjoying my refection rather than agonising over it. I want my son to see that beauty comes from feeling good about yourself and for him to support the women in his life to do just that.

Here are my tips on feeling good and dressing happy

• Get to know your shape and dress for it: Once you master what suits your shape you can build on this foundation and experiment with colour and print to express your personality.
• Avoid the Practical Rut: Don't get stuck in the habbit of dressing "Practically" for mum duties, sometimes dressing in something pretty really can lift your mood and make you feel like "you"rather than just a mummy.
• Go-To Mum-iform: On days when only practical and mum-uniform will do, have a collection of go to accessories, for example some fab earrings  or a statement necklace to pop on over some stripes. You will feel like you've made an effort and will look super stylish in a snip of time.

Give yourselves some love, thanks for reading

Allie xx

RTH: Thanks Allie! Its been so good to hear about your journey! As a mother it is something i can definitely relate with as i went through the exact same thing.

#BODYPOSITIVITY Be Proud In Your Bikini!

Two years ago my beautiful blogging pal Vicki launched #ProudInMyBikini, a post and an Instagram that went viral as it showed her gorgeous post child bearing body in all its bikini clad glory.

Two years ago i looked at the pictures that she posted, and the vast array of women of all shapes and sizes that then joined her, and thought wow, they are so brave, I wish i could do that!!

You see, for a very long time i have not been happy with my body. Its funny as people see me being quite tall, of average weight and happy to post pictures on the internet, so they always say 

"Why don't you wear a bikini? You have a great figure" 

But really its that i've learned to dress my shape well. I've learned to use clothes as my armour and I'm happy in my outfits most days, choosing to show off my best bits in carefully selected items.

The thought of shedding those clothes was quite frankly harrowing. 

My son is nearly 7 and I haven't worn a bikini since the year before i was pregnant, so approximately 8 years ago. I was a happy in love 25 year old who was in Italy with her husband to be. I had a taut stomach and even some muscle definition. I had an itsy bitsy bikini and i didn't mind wearing it one iota. Then with my pregnancy and a huge baby (all 8lb 9 oz of him and super long to boot)came, suddenly i was left with red raw stretchmarks and saggy skin everywhere.

I no longer felt like me in this body. 

The carefree girl who grew up at the beach in bikinis having fun. 

She was gone for a really really long time. 

Nobody warns you how children can really effect your body and mindset, you just know that its all worth while when you receive that tiny bundle of joy in your arms, and i grant you it is. 

But i'm still me. There's still a girl screaming to wear a bikini and head the beach to have fun.

So why not?

Yes i have stretchmarks!! (Lots infact!)

No i am not toned. 

But i am healthy and happy. 

Whats stopping me?

Well apparently it was just me.

When i first wore the bikini out in public, nobody stared, nobody pointed and really not one person cared, except me. 

It goes back to the same thing i keep banging on about, the more we normalise ALL body types, the more we all feel comfortable with who we are and how we look.

I have a similar figure to my lovely mum, stretch marks and mum-tum and all, and every summer she would wear her bikini and not care one bit. In fact i always thought she looked cracking for her age (she still does now at 55!!). She has been a wonderful role model and seeing her with her wonderful figure, with its stretchmarks from my sister and i, made me realise i can do that too! As did seeing Vicki and all the other wonderful ladies who are #ProudInMyBikini. 

I am so happy to be joining in this wonderful movement of ladies in bikini's!

My body is not 'perfect' I have a road map across my tummy, there is no six pack in sight, i have claw marks down my thighs and a jiggle when i walk.

But this is my body, no body else's. There is no comparison to be had as i'm just me.. nobody else. Stretch marks and all, it has taken me a long time to realise that this is still me, and i am worthy of wearing a bikini.. we all are ladies!

M&Co recently did a survey that showed only 22% of women are brave enough to bare in a bikini! 

That seems incredibly low to me. Where are all the bikini's ladies? 

After my journey i thought i'd share some tips on wearing a bikini:

• Order a few and try them on in the comfort of your home. There's nothing worse than trying them on in the harsh lighting of a shops changing room, plus the pressure and stress of getting changed/unchanged. Order online, like from M&Co and try them
• Try a few styles: High leg is super flattering and elongates legs, high-waisted will cover most tummys, tummy control panels will hold you in and support cups will hoist you up when needed. There are some great styles on the market, its just about finding one that suits you. So don't be scared to try new styles as they may turn out to be the one for you.
• Choose Pattern/Colour! I think sometimes an all black swimsuit can be harsh, a little ageing and not very flattering. Its universally thought that black is slimming but honestly, i think a bold pattern or bold colour will actually help detract away from lumps and bumps and create a much more interesting look!The interest will be far more in the beautiful bikini then whats underneath it.
• Once you've chosen your bikini try it on in front of the mirror multiple times before you go out. I found actually giving my reflection a bit of attention helped. It made me look closer and think about why was i so concerned. Better yet, take a selfie and send it to some lovely trusted friends for feedback. You will soon see they, and nobody else, will see the things that you pick holes in.
• Stand with confidence! And if you don't feel it, fake it till you make it i say! When you're finally in your two piece and you're out at the beach/by the pool, try to relax in to it. There's nothing worse than looking uncomfortable and tense. Your body will go rigid and you will make yourself look far far worse. Try relaxing your shoulders, don't hunch over and smile. Confidence always starts with a smile.
• Use a cover up. I loved the light maxi dress cover up here, its light and airy and perfect for throwing on when walking around. If you're not feeling confident start by just taking your cover-up off around the pool or sat on the beach, then pop your cover-up on when walking around. You will gain confidence by just sitting out in your bikini i promise!

 A big thank you to M&Co for working with me, sending me this wonderful bikini and really pushing me out of my comfort zone!

I love my new bikini, you can find this one here! 

And the gorgeous cover up here

And thanks to M&Co here is a fab discount to help you on your bikini clad way!

Code: RACHEL10

Terms & Conditions: 10% OFF FULL PRICE – 10% off full price valid online at www.mandco.com until 31^st July 2017. Excludes promotional or sale items and online P&P charges. Items from non-participating concessions are excluded from this promotion. Returned items will be refunded at the discounted price paid. Use promo code RACHEL10 online. Cannot be used in conjunction with any other offer.

Do you wear a bikini? And if not would you consider trying one this year?